Insanity Defense
by Alstroe
Summary: "Father. He told me not to…"  "…To eat the food?" one prompted.  I nodded uneasily.  "Azula, your father is still in jail. He hasn't been here to see you. You're hallucinating."
1. Act I

A/N: So, this will be in three parts! Enjoy and review if you feel so inclined!

**"Oh, that way madness lies; let me shun that."**  
><strong>- William Shakespeare, <em>King Lear<em>, 3.4.21**

* * *

><p>My name? Don't you already know it? Yes, but you just wanted to make sure? Well, that's a waste. You know who I am as well as I do.<p>

You didn't come all the way out here just to hear about me, though.

Oh, you did? That's new… someone…caring about me.

But that's not important. You've heard the stories. Rumors. I'm the deranged Fire princess, right? Betrayed by her only friends, defeated by the courageous waterbender Katara and her own brother, the glorious new Firelord?

Oh, it's true. You knew that, too. So why are you here, I wonder?

Is it to hear what happened next?

Why do you even care?

* * *

><p>They unchained me from that grate later, after my father was killed. What's that? He wasn't killed? Oh, he might as well have been, thrown in jail, without his bending.<p>

But instead of a jail, they threw me in an insane asylum, with deranged scum. I was fine! I'm fine!

Oh, I'm sorry for shouting at you. I'm trying to work on my temper.

So I lived there. Sometimes people would come and visit me, there in my little white box. They would ask me questions about how I was feeling, and at first they didn't like my answers. I could tell. But then I started getting different flavored food, and they liked my answers a bit better. For a while there my life was hazy and happy. I was "making progress." I felt… good. Whatever they were doing to me, it was a relief.

But then _she_ came. She came, and she tried to hug me and tell me we'd be a family again and make up for lost time but her eyes were like daggers and her claws dug into my back and all the pressure came back and I screamed. Then I closed my eyes for a minute, and the next thing I knew, my visitors were back, telling me I had done something Very Bad. I knew nothing about it, of course.

But life isn't fair, is it? Especially to me. So they moved me from my white space into a tinier black room with guards. Then it made sense! Of course. That woman had tried to kill me, so I needed protection.

I settled back into life in my own little space. My food tasted even more strongly of that peculiar flavor now, and sometimes I couldn't do anything but stare with glazed eyes at my walls.

Until _he _came.

The new, high and mighty Firelord stormed into the room next to my box, iron bars separating the two spaces. That's where my visitors sat now.

"How nice of you to visit, brother," I said. I meant it. I really did.

"Why did you do it?" He was angry and close to tears.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said, but some little voice in the back of my head said, you do, you do, you know exactly what he's talking about, and some stronger voice- you did nothing! You're a good girl- silenced it.

Zuzu roared, sending a fireball an inch away from my face

I didn't even twitch.

He wildly searched my eyes for a moment, then, defeated, put his head in his hands and started sobbing. Through the bars, I reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. He was sorrowful now, but couldn't he see why I did it? Didn't do it.

He had to be walked out of the room by my other visitors.

"Nice seeing you, Zuzu," I called.

* * *

><p>After that, not many people came to visit me. I was all on my own. It's kind of sad, really. I lived day in and day out there, but I was perfectly fine. So what if my family hated me? Father still loved me. I know he did. And those treasonous bitches that deserted me at the Boiling Rock… well, they could rot. So, yes, I was fine. Just a little bored, I suppose.<p>

Then I got sick. I was very, very ill. I laid in my bed for days and days, and wasn't able to keep any food down. That's when Father started visiting me, at night, when the guards were drowsy.

The first night he came, I was surprised.

"Father!" I cried when I saw his shadow in the room adjacent.

He moved closer to my bars, and I could see the moonlight from the window in his room glint off of his crown.

"Daughter. I am proud of how you have handled yourself through this trying affair. Zuko told them you were insane so they would imprison you here."

"Thank you, father," I said, grateful for him, at least, believing in my sanity.

"Now, daughter," he said. "I have not yet retaken the throne. So you must pretend you have heard nothing of this."

I eagerly nodded, and he continued.

"After I have retaken my rightful place as Firelord, you may come out of this place forever," he said, turning up his nose. "But until then, I need you to work to make them trust you. Soon will be the time for you to escape and kill the Avatar."

I was in awe. He still trusted me… after I failed to stop Zuko?

"I will, Father! I promise!"

Father laid a cold hand on my head, and with a sinister smile, he melted back into the shadows. I collapsed against a wall, excited beyond belief at this new plan.

Every few weeks he would return, always at night. He would ask me about how I was gaining their trust, and was pleased with the results. It was true- my visitors did trust me more now. It was too bad they didn't know Father had told me to stop eating their food.


	2. Act II

**"I want that glib and oily art**  
><strong>To speak and purpose not; since what I well intend,<strong>  
><strong>I'll do't before I speak."<strong>  
><strong>- William Shakespeare, <em>King Lear<em>, 1.1.227**

* * *

><p>Months passed. I was getting better at finding out which food was drugged- the smell gave it away. I would eat the safe food, then conceal the drugged food under my robes and throw it in the latrine, later. Clever, right?<p>

But now that there was hope of escape, I became even more discontent. I saw my father everywhere, his finger raised to his lips in a gesture of silence. He was there, lurking behind every door and in every shadowy corner. Whenever I saw his shadow I became so full of hope I couldn't help but laugh, long and deep, shoving a fist in my mouth so the guards wouldn't hear, come over and see him there.

As the weeks passed, I could feel the fire in my body again. It had left me for awhile, but now it was back, and I would lay awake at night, curling my fingers around a tiny blue wisp of flame.

"Why did you leave?" I whispered. Now that the warmth was back in my body in my soul, I couldn't bear to think of losing it again.

My father entered from the doorway, where he had been watching. I hadn't seen him there, and I jumped up, bowing low. He waved me off, and I stood again.

"Father."

"Azula. It is time. You have your fire back now. Look at these bars," he said, gesturing to the iron bars that separated our rooms. "You can melt them. The guards are asleep. Do it now, and run away from this place!"

"Thank you, Father," I said. Tears were forming at the corners of my eyes. I owed him so much- he gave me back my fire, and now my life.

"Go!" he bellowed, and I leaped towards the bars, heating them enough to bend out of the way. I slipped between the cracks and ran down the hallway, feet soft on the tiled floors. I stopped at an intersection, turning this way and that to look for an exit. Then I spotted my father running down one of the hallways.

"This way, but make haste!"

I stumbled before sprinting after him, just as an alarm started ringing throughout the building. The torches on the walls all lit simultaneously. I cursed.

A guard spotted us as we were rounding a corner.

"Get back here! I need backup!" he shouted.

I panicked, my eyes rolling in my head. Father looked at me in contempt, and I struggled to regain my calm.

"Which way now, Father?"

He only glared at me, then turned and walked towards the guards.

"Wait!" I shrieked.

He slid in neatly next to a guard and started advancing towards me menacingly.

"What did I do to disappoint you? I've done everything you asked!"

I was now cornered. My father looked me straight in the eye and said "Kill her."

"Wait!" I shrieked again, and as flames rolled towards me I let out a desperate flame kick, driving the guards back.

Then my visitors burst through the circle of guards.

"Azula!" one yelled.

I looked around me. The guards were not standing in Firebending poses anymore, they were drawn inwards, scared. There were no flames licking at my ankles. And Father… Father was gone.

I looked back to the three men who came to talk to me.

"Azula…" one said carefully. "Why are you able to Firebend?"

"You've been drugging me!" I screamed. "Admit it!"

"Don't you feel better, less stressed, when you eat the food?" one asked calmly.

I nodded, slowly, uncertainly. "But Father…"

"What?" one asked, his interest peaked.

"Father. He told me not to…"

"…To eat the food?" one prompted.

I nodded uneasily.

"Azula, your father is still in jail. He hasn't been here to see you.

You're hallucinating."

I felt faint. Is it true? Am I crazy? I thought. I nodded, shifting back into a neutral pose. One of them stepped up and patted me on the shoulder. You see, I thought they were right. I _thought I _could trust them_._ I was wrong! _You can't trust anyone! _

Excuse me, where was I?

So I turned to follow them, and that's when I saw it.

One of them had a ponytail and blue robes on under his Fire Nation cloak, one had a long brown braid, and one was short with a bob of black hair. The Avatar was trying to trick me! I roared, sending a violet arc of fire towards the waterbender's back. It hit her and she fell, smoking. The non-bender and the earthbender stared at me in horror, and I smirked back before taking off down the hallway. I emerged from the building into the cool night air for the first time in a long time. Too long.

I was running into the forest adjacent when I spotted my father lurking against a tree. I almost didn't stop, but he called out to me.

"Azula."

I turned and bowed.

"I am sorry my daughter. But I had to test to make sure you were loyal to me. After Zuko…"

"I understand, Father," I said, my chest swelling with happiness. He didn't abandon me!

"Then you will understand when I say I must leave you." I said nothing, and he continued. "I must retake my throne. You must find the Avatar and kill him."

"Yes, Father. I will." I will make you proud.

"Good." He smiled, showing nothing but the sharp tips of his teeth.


	3. Act III: Finale

**I apologize for the time between this chapter and the last! That said, enjoy.**

**"O! let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven;  
>Keep me in temper; I would not be mad!"<br>- William Shakespeare, _King Lear_, 1.5.51  
><strong>

* * *

><p>I spent the night weaving through those trees, spooking at shadows and animals.<p>

Azula! Get ahold of yourself! I wrapped my arms around myself and continued at a slower pace through the forest.

By daybreak, I had come upon a small Fire Nation village. I stole a hood off of a clothes rack-too many citizens knew what I looked like- and cautiously entered the town. I briskly walked up to a merchant- selling cabbages, I think. Stupid peasant. He asked me if I would like a cabbage, so I picked one up and started to examine it.

"Say, would you know what the Avatar was up to lately?"

The man glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. Damnit. I was out of practice at this.

"Why are you asking?"

I put on my best wide eyed, I-don't-know-anything-can't-you-see-I'm-a-little-girl expression and said "Well, he should be taking a vacation after defeating Firelord Ozai!" I smiled.

The man relaxed a bit, then grumbled. "He's staying near the palace to work out a treaty. Took 'em long enough, it's almost been a year!" My mask slipped. It had been a full year. I couldn't believe it. I hurriedly smiled again, refocusing only to catch something about "still hasn't paid me back for my cabbages." I smiled again and waved cheerily at the man as I walked away, going into an alley.

I laughed, low and deep. Now I could go find him and regain my place as Princess- put Zuko in his place- regain my father's love- be all better. Yes. Everything would go back to normal. I'd be all better.

That night I took off for the palace. I couldn't sleep anyway- I was bursting with excitement. And it seems that my asylum wasn't too far from the palace, because I got there about midnight.

You know something? People are scared of me because of my skill and precision. I suppose you already knew that, though. So I started my search for the Avatar that night, making larger and larger circles around the palace. Then, I saw it. A small house with a stable just big enough for a flying bison. I sat down hard on the cobblestones, hyperventilating. This was my chance. I could have my life back. I could be perfect again, with a perfect throne and a perfect father and perfect friends. Perfect perfect perfect.

I ducked into an alley and waited there until morning, eyes wide open but seeing nothing.

* * *

><p>I knew that morning was special. As the sun rose, I inhaled, feeling its power light up in every pore. "Agni," I breathed, "watch over me."<p>

I could feel my father's presence, approving but still cold, always cold. I didn't even turn, walking straight forward. To kill the Avatar.

I walked straight through the cloth flap in the doorway of the hut. There he was, the Avatar, sleeping. Could he really be this naïve? I thought. Could it be this easy? That little voice in my head spoke up, saying no, it isn't, this will have consequences past your wildest dreams, but I shushed it, creeping forward and putting a hand to the Avatar's throat. His eyes shot open, but I put a finger to his lips.

"I could burn you right here," I said. His eyes were wide, but he twisted and pushed me away with a blast of air from his feet. I sputtered and stumbled backwards, falling into a fighting stance. He twisted out of the corner of the room and landed, holding up his hands.

"Azula, we don't have to fight. Just give up now and you won't get in trouble."

"Ha!" I snorted. "I have you beaten and there's nothing you can do about it!" I sent a fierce blast of fire at his outstretched hands and looked up at him through my sweat-soaked bangs triumphantly.

"Azula, please stop. I don't want to fight you."

I kicked and flames blossomed from my foot, missing his head by inches. I spun and punched the air, sending flames spiraling around his head. The Avatar ducked and sent his own leg out, spinning away the flames with a blast of air.

I continued to advance, sending jets of flames whizzing past his head, but the Avatar just continued to dodge. He didn't even try to fight me, just defended himself from my attacks.

I sent a flurry of punches at him, and flames singed the shoulder of his orange robes.

"Damn you!" I screamed, wiping away angry tears with the back of my hand. When had I started crying? "Fight me, you bastard! Am I not a worthy enough opponent for the mighty Avatar?"

"Azula…" he started, and his eyes were filled with… pity?

"Don't pity me!" I screamed, running towards him and kicking fireballs towards him at an almost inhuman speed.

He dodged three but the last hit him directly in his chest. His legs buckled and he screamed in agony as his flesh bubbled. I smiled, smiled wide and he stared at me.

"Why, Azula? Why?"

"Because I had to, for Father. Now he will finally trust me, finally love me. He and I will reclaim the throne from that bastard Zuko, we will be all powerful!" I was cackling now. "We will win!"

His sorrowful eyes glazed over with death and I threw my head back and laughed.

But then everything went fuzzy- I blinked and the waterbender was behind me. Before I could even take a breath my hands and legs were frozen behind me in a block of ice.

"Damn it! Damn it!" I screamed and screamed, crying sloppily. "You're dead! I killed you- you're dead, why aren't you dead, why not, why not, you're dead," I babbled, trailing off at the confused expression on her face.

Then I heard the Avatar's voice.

And everything went fuzzy again. I blinked, and he was standing there, unharmed.

"You're dead too! You're both dead, I killed you, why aren't you dead, why not, why not." I thrashed against my ice prison, and the waterbender and the Avatar stared at me with pity.

"Don't you _dare_ pity me! I pity _you_, I am a princess and you are nothing," I hissed. I made a sobbing sound but there were no tears left for me to shed.

"You're dead…" I said. "You're dead…"

Then the waterbender forced me to drink something. Poison, I suspected. And everything went black.

* * *

><p>"And I woke up here," Azula finished, throwing her head back and cackling.<p>

Her visitor made no motion and his face was unreadable under his large hood.

"So now do you believe me? I'm not crazy!" she told him earnestly. "Father will be back to get me soon, and then we will kill Zuzu. Together. And he will love me and I will be a princess again." She sighed contentedly. "Everything will be perfect."

"And I really did kill the Avatar," she said, leaning towards the bars conversationally, a glint in her eye. "Father told me. Then these people captured me and gave me a drug to make me think I hadn't, make me think I was really crazy. It's their fault I've been blacking out and having hallucinations. Father told me so." She leaned back, relaxed.

"Someday soon, Father says he will break me out of here and we will be a family again. Soon, soon!" she yelled, clapping her hands. "Soon, soon, soon," she said, falling into a chant and rocking back and forth.

"Soon, soon…"

The man in the hood looked at his little sister rocking back and forth and bowed his head.

"It seems she plans to escape again, sir." The psychologist's face held pity and sadness for the girl.

"Very well. Put her under maximum security, give her a straitjacket, and administer the drugs," the man said.

Firelord Zuko looked back at his younger sister once before leaving the asylum.

"I'm sorry, 'Zula. Maybe one day…"

But then he was gone.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Well, this was my experiment in unreliable narrators. I hoped you all liked it! I'm sure you all have you own ideas about what was real and what was not, but these were mine:<strong>

**Azula really did kill her mother when she came to visit, Zuko really did come to visit that first time, and Azula did actually make it to Aang and Katara's house.**

**But, Azula killed one of her psychologists (her "visitors"), not Katara, nor did she kill Aang in the end, that was a hallucination. Her father was a hallucination. **

**Do I think she'll ever really recover? Probably not. But maybe, if she can get her hallucinations under control. **

**Thanks for reading and review if you feel so inclined! :D**

**~Sofia**


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